The grass is, in fact, greener over here
Mar. 22nd, 2026 05:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seapicklesupremacy There's something to be said about heavy handed symbolism in real life that is so so funny to me. In those moments, it's like a divine hand reaches across the veil and directly interferes with my life. It reinforces the idea that I am just a character in a Truman-like show and aspects of my life are tweaked in real time for entertainment purposes.
But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me explain:
So F and I were sitting on call last night, he playing games, me sorting through my laundry. We were just chatting about Warhammer and games, just shooting the shit, y'know? While I was digging through my laundry basket, I pulled out my old skirt that I still have from when I was still a girl, and that I kept because 1. It's cute and 2. I know what men like 💀 F is no exception and very much enjoyed when I wore it for him before so I decided for a very funny hee hee ha ha, I was going to put it on right now. Bit of further context, I was sitting in my pyjamas which consisted of a shirt with a husky on it and plaid bottoms, and F LOVES huskies. This is relevant because when I stepped back into view wearing a husky pyjama shirt, a skirt and a my new collar I bought that day (the fit was CHOPPED), F folded like a cheap lawn chair. He kept looking at me, then pulling away from the screen, only to glance back at me muttering something about me being "unfair". His expression read "Fuck. He's cute, but I can't fuck around with him for the next 5 months. This is torture. Unfair unfair unfair!" He actually begged me to take it off because he said that he was actually going to fold if I didn't. I struck a couple more gay ass poses that I know he finds me hot when I do before sparing him and taking the skirt off.
Now how is that at all symbolic? It's not, until you compare it to Willow and their reactions. If I were to be like that on call with Willow, I probably wouldn't gotten that strong of reaction until I was naked or at least scantily clad. But F finds me torturously attractive in the dumbest fit possible, and that warms my heart in a very particular way. I don't need to be nude or conventionally sexy with him, I just have to be myself and he precums in his pants (has happened several times!!!) I like not having to perform sexiness for him, he likes my personality a LOT and that makes me happy. :)
But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me explain:
So F and I were sitting on call last night, he playing games, me sorting through my laundry. We were just chatting about Warhammer and games, just shooting the shit, y'know? While I was digging through my laundry basket, I pulled out my old skirt that I still have from when I was still a girl, and that I kept because 1. It's cute and 2. I know what men like 💀 F is no exception and very much enjoyed when I wore it for him before so I decided for a very funny hee hee ha ha, I was going to put it on right now. Bit of further context, I was sitting in my pyjamas which consisted of a shirt with a husky on it and plaid bottoms, and F LOVES huskies. This is relevant because when I stepped back into view wearing a husky pyjama shirt, a skirt and a my new collar I bought that day (the fit was CHOPPED), F folded like a cheap lawn chair. He kept looking at me, then pulling away from the screen, only to glance back at me muttering something about me being "unfair". His expression read "Fuck. He's cute, but I can't fuck around with him for the next 5 months. This is torture. Unfair unfair unfair!" He actually begged me to take it off because he said that he was actually going to fold if I didn't. I struck a couple more gay ass poses that I know he finds me hot when I do before sparing him and taking the skirt off.
Now how is that at all symbolic? It's not, until you compare it to Willow and their reactions. If I were to be like that on call with Willow, I probably wouldn't gotten that strong of reaction until I was naked or at least scantily clad. But F finds me torturously attractive in the dumbest fit possible, and that warms my heart in a very particular way. I don't need to be nude or conventionally sexy with him, I just have to be myself and he precums in his pants (has happened several times!!!) I like not having to perform sexiness for him, he likes my personality a LOT and that makes me happy. :)
