Suicidal thoughts BEGONE
Mar. 1st, 2026 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seapicklesupremacy Recently my neighbour was found dead. Hung himself in a patch of forest about a 20min car drive away from where we live. He was missing for a week prior and was assumed to have drowned himself in the nearby canal, but when his body didn't appear after a week, they expanded their search to other places he was known to frequent and that's when he was found. His body was mostly preserved due to it being February in Ireland and we don't have any large carnivorous fauna like bears in the country so his body was mostly untouched by the wildlife.
I didn't know the man, I hardly know any of my neighbours. I saw my dad texting his widow his condolences when I had the funny thought of "if I killed myself, would my friends and family know where to find my body?" If I actually managed to kill myself that day, I don't think there would be much of me to find, just bits and pieces smeared from here to town. Funnily enough the canal that they assumed claimed him runs parallel beside the very train tracks of my suicide attempt lol.
I don't believe my family would know, at least they didn't for the first time. I hardly leave the house for anything besides school, employment and to see friends at their places, so no immediately obvious places for suicide. Even then since my last attempt, my suicidal tendencies have completely evaporated. Years and years of constant passive suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation just poofed. I explained it to my friends as having a suicide meter and that it slowly fills over years and years and eventually it'll spill over and that's when an attempt happens. If it works, it works, if it doesn't then the meter drains to empty and the process starts over again. When I said that to explain why me having a breakdown wasn't a sign that I was going to do something drastic, they looked at me like I had three heads :P That's besides the point- ANYWAYS, I can't think of any places where my family would know to find me, but that's because I can't imagine killing myself currently soooo that's good? I think
I didn't know the man, I hardly know any of my neighbours. I saw my dad texting his widow his condolences when I had the funny thought of "if I killed myself, would my friends and family know where to find my body?" If I actually managed to kill myself that day, I don't think there would be much of me to find, just bits and pieces smeared from here to town. Funnily enough the canal that they assumed claimed him runs parallel beside the very train tracks of my suicide attempt lol.
I don't believe my family would know, at least they didn't for the first time. I hardly leave the house for anything besides school, employment and to see friends at their places, so no immediately obvious places for suicide. Even then since my last attempt, my suicidal tendencies have completely evaporated. Years and years of constant passive suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation just poofed. I explained it to my friends as having a suicide meter and that it slowly fills over years and years and eventually it'll spill over and that's when an attempt happens. If it works, it works, if it doesn't then the meter drains to empty and the process starts over again. When I said that to explain why me having a breakdown wasn't a sign that I was going to do something drastic, they looked at me like I had three heads :P That's besides the point- ANYWAYS, I can't think of any places where my family would know to find me, but that's because I can't imagine killing myself currently soooo that's good? I think
