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Sep. 21st, 2024 10:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seapicklesupremacy I hate my mom oh my god I hate her, I hate fucking talking to her we always fight I always end up crying I hate her I hate her so much I wish she would leave me alone she always makes it seem like a fucking disappointment that doesn't do enough it's never fucking enough for her I'm never doing enough
5 days a week I work and study for 14 and a half fucking hours and I get home at 10pm and eat a cold dinner in the dark before I go to bed and do it all over again BUT GOD FUCKING FORBID I HAVE A FULL DAY OFF 'Cause nooooo you won't have weekends off so you need to study everyday LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING
I don't think she realises how lucky she is that I actually go in and work every day, I have friends who are out constantly because of their depression but I just grit my teeth and bear the exhaustion What if I can't do that any longer? Oh I'm sure your demands will feel REAL comforting when I'm too burnt out to get out of bed let alone school
I'M FUCKING TRYING OKAY I BASICALLY HAVE TO DO AN ATTITUDE 180 FROM LAST YEAR WHILE BATTLING UNMEDICATED ADHD AND FUCKING AUTISM
IT'S SO HARD TRYING TO FIGHT MY OWN BRAIN JUST TO STAY ON TRACK I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF WRESTLING MYSELF EVERYDAY JUST TO DO BASIC TASKS
I'm not lazy I swear I just had to pick my battles I can't do everything you ask of me and I'm sorry but it's the dishes on my table or my laundry, it's the clothes on my floor or strip my bed I CANNOT DO EVERYTHING MY BRAIN WON'T LET ME
Do you know how hard it is to break out of habits?? Especially ones that are neurologically implanted in you??? Old habits die so much fucking harder
"Oh but I acknowledge it and I don't pressure you" Bull fucking shit
I don't go even want to study anymore just to spite her, if hurting me hurts her, I'm happy
The only reason I wouldn't kill myself is because I won't be alive to see her face when she realises it's all her fucking fault
5 days a week I work and study for 14 and a half fucking hours and I get home at 10pm and eat a cold dinner in the dark before I go to bed and do it all over again BUT GOD FUCKING FORBID I HAVE A FULL DAY OFF 'Cause nooooo you won't have weekends off so you need to study everyday LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING
I don't think she realises how lucky she is that I actually go in and work every day, I have friends who are out constantly because of their depression but I just grit my teeth and bear the exhaustion What if I can't do that any longer? Oh I'm sure your demands will feel REAL comforting when I'm too burnt out to get out of bed let alone school
I'M FUCKING TRYING OKAY I BASICALLY HAVE TO DO AN ATTITUDE 180 FROM LAST YEAR WHILE BATTLING UNMEDICATED ADHD AND FUCKING AUTISM
IT'S SO HARD TRYING TO FIGHT MY OWN BRAIN JUST TO STAY ON TRACK I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF WRESTLING MYSELF EVERYDAY JUST TO DO BASIC TASKS
I'm not lazy I swear I just had to pick my battles I can't do everything you ask of me and I'm sorry but it's the dishes on my table or my laundry, it's the clothes on my floor or strip my bed I CANNOT DO EVERYTHING MY BRAIN WON'T LET ME
Do you know how hard it is to break out of habits?? Especially ones that are neurologically implanted in you??? Old habits die so much fucking harder
"Oh but I acknowledge it and I don't pressure you" Bull fucking shit
I don't go even want to study anymore just to spite her, if hurting me hurts her, I'm happy
The only reason I wouldn't kill myself is because I won't be alive to see her face when she realises it's all her fucking fault
